Blogging 101

* updated Photo Blogs & Audio Blogs based on popular request ;) - please start the comment festival again :P *

Sometimes, it helps to make fun of your ilk. Request all bloggers to take it easy and laugh it off - no offense meant :-)

If you have really landed on this post hoping to find the right starting point. You got it !!. Please send me a blank check ASAP.

Let's get started !...

Sign up for a blogging account.

Do not think of why you need to blog. Just do it.

Think of abnormal phrases as titles for your blog. It can be anything like 'velilale mazhai' to 'thoughtless thoughts' to anything that cannot be pronounced. Note, nothing prevents you from using day-to-day items like 'Bata' Bytes or 'Rivet'ting rants etc. The more non-indian the title is the more catchy it is. (Tip: Try Greek, Latin, Spanish or even Madras Bashai)

Goal of blogging is to have as many visitors as you can get and as many comments as you get. Do not build up any other false 'hopes'

What to write ? Make up your mind about what you want to write. There are many options.
Daily Journals - which can include anything from your daily activity.
e.g. I opened a new bar of soap at 8.40 am today morning
Here in front of me is a sparrow.
(Oh, btb, it flew off before i could complete the journal )
Note : If you plan on keeping Daily Journals and if you are no celebrity, just make sure, your profile is set to be 'female'. Most readers dont read journals of men (Sorry men-folk that is the truth and Sorry women-folk, trust me, that is the truth)

Raving or Ranting - You can write about anything you want.

e.g. I saw a bee today. God awful. I am gonna $%$%!#$%^*& any bee i see.
Why do crows have to be black ?
I love masala dosai because...
I hate Lalu Prasad because...

Note: Since you are gonna be bashing someone in your post, you better be so speculative that you will generate lotsa readership like some of the 'leading' online 'magazines' (No candies for guessing what magazine is being referred)

Movies/Songs/Entertainment Gossips - Thunukku Mootai.

No examples - If you don't know what gossip/thunukku mootai is till now, you dont need to know it in future either :P

Philosophy/Sports/Science/Arts - Write all about topics in that 'genre'
e.g. Why do we exit
Why Tendulkar rocks or Why Ganguly Sucks
Why Google is hot
Why IR/ARR is good and all others are bad.

Reviews - Write what you felt about book/movie/music/places
e.g. Anniyan Sadha Sodha
Harry Potter raises hairs
Da vinci code is a winner
The best part about writing reviews is - you don't have to know squat about anything - just throw in some terminology - there will be atleast few people who will agree/disagree with you - that is all you need :P

*updated based on popular request :) *
Audio Blogs
For all of those who feel, they are the next SPB, KJY or Hariharan, and the only reason, they are not SPB/KJY is because have not been given a mic, this is your golden oppurtunity. Signup for audio blogging and starting crooning your way to glory.

You can also talk about anything, you can do mimicry, you can sing, you can cry - but make sure you don't make others cry :P

Aslo, you can be like de'waugh sir or banu malick siri.e. you can audio blog existing songs and call it your own audio blog.

Warning: You can be sued by the above sirs for copright i.e. right to copy infringement ;)

*updated based on popular request :) *
Photo Blogs
We all know picture speaks thousand words. If you can take pictures that can express thousand words well and good. Just make sure, you have good enough pictures to convey your happiness about the latest IR album, anguish about how bad a recent movies was. No 'leading magazine' style sleaze festival please ;)

Ofcourse, the fall back is always post pictures of a rose, a building, a bird and many more things. One good thing about using such pictures is, the only 'negative comment' you can get is how the lighting/photograph was not good - never the building or the bird i.e the content is always good :P

All of the above - Safest way to start, since you can write what you feel without being 'branded' :-)

Driving up visitors - Sign up with blogpatrol.com and set the start counter to 'bata shoe price' like 299 or 2999 etc - Never start with '0' - that is a big turn off.

Don't answer any question you are being asked directly. Ask them to go to your blogs instead.

e.g. Q: 'Do you know where the nearest pizza hut is ?'
A: Yes. Please visit my blog.
Q: 'Do you write about pizzas ?'
A: No. My blog has link to google and you can click on it and find a pizza hut near by

Note: It also helps to be a bit shameless. You can go to random sites and leave a comment prompting visit from the victim

Driving up comments - This is a big course in itself. There are some pioneers in the blogosphere who can talk hours together endlessly about this.

Tip1 : It helps to have opinionated friends. Go beat them up, cry, beg them to visit your website

Tip2 : Never restrict your comments to 'Only logged on bloggers'. Leave it open to anonymous.

Tip3 : If no one comments, comment as anonymous. Senthil has written in detail about many more ideas on this topic.

Tip4 : Reply to every comment. If possible, do multiple posts of the same comment, pretending it is accidental

Tip5 : Visit any blog site you can think of and leave a comment. "This was wonderful" is all you need. Copy paste it. Blogger etiquette demands a reply "This was wonderful" on your blog. Guaranteed or money back* (Terms and Conditions apply)

Blogroll biggies- The more your site is linked up via biggies's sites, the more visitors, comments you get.

Have a big heart - there may be cases, when you wont have visitors or comments. Just write something bad about some super heroes, you are guaranteed to have visitors.

If you are not upto the challenge and don't feel like blogging. Don't worry. Do visit this site often, and don't forget to leave a comment :P