I am looking for singers (male & female), preferably with Tamil knowledge, lyricists, drummers, keyboard players, flutists, guitarists for my album. If you are interested, please leave a comment or contact me via my profile page

Monday, August 01, 2005

Blogging 101

* updated Photo Blogs & Audio Blogs based on popular request ;) - please start the comment festival again :P *

Sometimes, it helps to make fun of your ilk. Request all bloggers to take it easy and laugh it off - no offense meant :-)

If you have really landed on this post hoping to find the right starting point. You got it !!. Please send me a blank check ASAP.

Let's get started !...

Sign up for a blogging account.

Do not think of why you need to blog. Just do it.

Think of abnormal phrases as titles for your blog. It can be anything like 'velilale mazhai' to 'thoughtless thoughts' to anything that cannot be pronounced. Note, nothing prevents you from using day-to-day items like 'Bata' Bytes or 'Rivet'ting rants etc. The more non-indian the title is the more catchy it is. (Tip: Try Greek, Latin, Spanish or even Madras Bashai)

Goal of blogging is to have as many visitors as you can get and as many comments as you get. Do not build up any other false 'hopes'

What to write ? Make up your mind about what you want to write. There are many options.
Daily Journals - which can include anything from your daily activity.
e.g. I opened a new bar of soap at 8.40 am today morning
Here in front of me is a sparrow.
(Oh, btb, it flew off before i could complete the journal )
Note : If you plan on keeping Daily Journals and if you are no celebrity, just make sure, your profile is set to be 'female'. Most readers dont read journals of men (Sorry men-folk that is the truth and Sorry women-folk, trust me, that is the truth)

Raving or Ranting - You can write about anything you want.

e.g. I saw a bee today. God awful. I am gonna $%$%!#$%^*& any bee i see.
Why do crows have to be black ?
I love masala dosai because...
I hate Lalu Prasad because...

Note: Since you are gonna be bashing someone in your post, you better be so speculative that you will generate lotsa readership like some of the 'leading' online 'magazines' (No candies for guessing what magazine is being referred)

Movies/Songs/Entertainment Gossips - Thunukku Mootai.

No examples - If you don't know what gossip/thunukku mootai is till now, you dont need to know it in future either :P

Philosophy/Sports/Science/Arts - Write all about topics in that 'genre'
e.g. Why do we exit
Why Tendulkar rocks or Why Ganguly Sucks
Why Google is hot
Why IR/ARR is good and all others are bad.

Reviews - Write what you felt about book/movie/music/places
e.g. Anniyan Sadha Sodha
Harry Potter raises hairs
Da vinci code is a winner
The best part about writing reviews is - you don't have to know squat about anything - just throw in some terminology - there will be atleast few people who will agree/disagree with you - that is all you need :P

*updated based on popular request :) *
Audio Blogs
For all of those who feel, they are the next SPB, KJY or Hariharan, and the only reason, they are not SPB/KJY is because have not been given a mic, this is your golden oppurtunity. Signup for audio blogging and starting crooning your way to glory.

You can also talk about anything, you can do mimicry, you can sing, you can cry - but make sure you don't make others cry :P

Aslo, you can be like de'waugh sir or banu malick siri.e. you can audio blog existing songs and call it your own audio blog.

Warning: You can be sued by the above sirs for copright i.e. right to copy infringement ;)

*updated based on popular request :) *
Photo Blogs
We all know picture speaks thousand words. If you can take pictures that can express thousand words well and good. Just make sure, you have good enough pictures to convey your happiness about the latest IR album, anguish about how bad a recent movies was. No 'leading magazine' style sleaze festival please ;)

Ofcourse, the fall back is always post pictures of a rose, a building, a bird and many more things. One good thing about using such pictures is, the only 'negative comment' you can get is how the lighting/photograph was not good - never the building or the bird i.e the content is always good :P

All of the above - Safest way to start, since you can write what you feel without being 'branded' :-)

Driving up visitors - Sign up with blogpatrol.com and set the start counter to 'bata shoe price' like 299 or 2999 etc - Never start with '0' - that is a big turn off.

Don't answer any question you are being asked directly. Ask them to go to your blogs instead.

e.g. Q: 'Do you know where the nearest pizza hut is ?'
A: Yes. Please visit my blog.
Q: 'Do you write about pizzas ?'
A: No. My blog has link to google and you can click on it and find a pizza hut near by

Note: It also helps to be a bit shameless. You can go to random sites and leave a comment prompting visit from the victim

Driving up comments - This is a big course in itself. There are some pioneers in the blogosphere who can talk hours together endlessly about this.

Tip1 : It helps to have opinionated friends. Go beat them up, cry, beg them to visit your website

Tip2 : Never restrict your comments to 'Only logged on bloggers'. Leave it open to anonymous.

Tip3 : If no one comments, comment as anonymous. Senthil has written in detail about many more ideas on this topic.

Tip4 : Reply to every comment. If possible, do multiple posts of the same comment, pretending it is accidental

Tip5 : Visit any blog site you can think of and leave a comment. "This was wonderful" is all you need. Copy paste it. Blogger etiquette demands a reply "This was wonderful" on your blog. Guaranteed or money back* (Terms and Conditions apply)

Blogroll biggies- The more your site is linked up via biggies's sites, the more visitors, comments you get.

Have a big heart - there may be cases, when you wont have visitors or comments. Just write something bad about some super heroes, you are guaranteed to have visitors.

If you are not upto the challenge and don't feel like blogging. Don't worry. Do visit this site often, and don't forget to leave a comment :P

105 comments:

Raman said...

This was wonderful!

Now. you visit mine... ;-)

Raman said...

Jokes apart .. A very well analyzed blog daa ... Looks like there may be lots of personal experience influencing the guide ;-) I rotfl at the Driving up visitors section. An excellent tip that should be at the front of everything else.

And why do you need a blank check? Wouldn't you want a "signed" blank check? And now that we are on the topic of money, better ask for their credit card numbers or even better - work only with cash! Tax breaks :-))

SamY said...

ha ha ... know what? ... if any of u guys are into internet marketing none of these wud surprise you ...

n arvind u'd be fab with internet marketing for ur writing skills :) ... trust me

cosmicblob said...

Hey Arvind - that was hilarious! Your Blogging 101 is missing the latest fad in the blogosphere..Audio Blogs.. Please add a few lines about it!

p.s. Drop by my blog some time ;-)

Anand Ramamoorthy said...

Arvind,

that kinda describes the long and short of blogging I guess, funny and thought provoking? why do people blog?
I think it is a form of self-expression.

sen said...

Arvind..
here it is
http://jackofall.blogspot.com/2005/07/dc-bloggers-meet.html

Ganesh said...

thambri ippadiyellam ezhuthi
comments ethikaporaya ;)

Arvind said...

Raman,

Thanks da. w.r.t blank cheques - that is for 'direct deduction from the checking account' - no credit card business ;) :P

Arvind said...

samY,

thank you :-)

cosmicblob,

Yes, i guess i missed a trick there - let me add it today.

regarding your p.s - LOL - you are quick learner i see :-D

will do

Arvind said...

Anand,

idhula kooda oru philosophical twist'aa - ahaa ! ;)

Senthil,

thx da - let me wire it in ;)

Arvind said...

Ganesh,

serious boot-strapping article with generously sprinkled dosed of humor avlo dhaan.

reg. comments - you can talk about it more than anyone else ;)

Sriks said...

ah aha Arvind.wow! you are funny , please please please visit my blog, I have Blogrolled you
can you please Blog Roll me or Blog Twist me or Blog Spin me.

for your IP I have programmed the counter to be counter+=99
nee oru thaba vanda 100 dhaba mathri......:))
Please go ahead and do the same for my IP.
--
Why do people Blog?
Because Google gives it free :)

Arvind said...

Sriks,

Thanks. Neenga sonnadha partha, 'edakku mudakka' varirkeenga pola irukku. But i should not lose sight of the overall goal - get many visitors - so thanks for visiting ;)

i will bloogly (googly in blog world) you. no spin/pace etc ;)

"for your IP I have programmed the counter to be counter+=99
nee oru thaba vanda 100 dhaba mathri......:)) Please go ahead and do the same for my IP."


Bug illadha code'a konjam anupareengala ? :P

Sriks said...

bug illadha codeum
self-comment
illatha blogkum
logathil uNdo...
logathil uNdo
:)

Sriks said...

Bug kil nicA ga
umadhu linkai add sechanthai kandu
yam mechinom [or what ever in tamil] :)

Kasthuri Srinivasan said...

Is experience the best teacher ? Nice blog. Good analysis. I liked the note in daily journal.

Arvind said...

Sriks,

:-) first 'undo undo' nu padichu - was wondering for a few seconds before i realised it was 'undu'

Reg adding link and sen-tamizh - 'sechanthai' is out of place - it should be 'seidhadhai' :P

Arvind said...

Kasthuri,

"I liked the note in daily journal. " - looks like you like 'the truth' :P

LOL

Sriks said...

nothing...
just posted to increase number of comments..
:)

Lavanya said...

funny :))

Arvind said...

Sriks,

Thanks for your noble efforts - as a gesture of thanks, oru chinna poem ungalukkaga

summave kaament koduthadhu neenga
summave kaament koduthadhu neenga

(repeat twice for it to become pudhu kavidhai :P)

nijamave unga manasu perisu ponga
nijamave unga manasu perisu ponga

(repeat this also twice - for it to become pudhu kavidhai :P)

Lavanya,
Thanks :-)

Sriks said...

:)
seri #22

Magic Lens said...

Nice post...
hey what abt 'photoblogs'...y spared that category? lol

Arvind said...

Sriks,

Thanks yet again

Cosmic Blob & Magic Lens,

Request honored - please honor with more comments :-)

cosmicblob said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
cosmicblob said...

Arvind - looks like u have updated with photo blog already..waz about to bash u up for missing that...

By the way - u have just violated your own statement on my blog - by branding yourself stating "you and photography are not made for each other".

Rule #53 violated. :-| "Safest way to start, since you can write what you feel without being 'branded' :-)"

Its hard to spot rules on your Blogging 101 (I had to read thro' the whole dang thing to spot that one line quoted above!!!) - why dont u give #s to each rule ! ;-)

ROBBIE said...

Arvind:
Just to generate some controversy here and to live up to my straight shooter name: "DUDE WILL YA MAKE SENSE ONCE IN A WHILE!" "STOP WRITING CRAP WILL YA?" YOUR POST SUCKS BIG TIME!"

p.s. please keep visiting my blog and leave nice comments :P

ROBBIE said...

Arvind:
now that I have started the controversy as an after thought:
"AMAZING POST DUDE YOUR MOM WILL BE PROUD OF YOU!"
"WOW! YOU ARE THE MAN!"
"BAAZI BAZOOK! YOU ROCK DUDE!"
"ARVIND NEE ORU ARIVAALI!"

I will leave the rest for the public to decide...

Eshwar said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Eshwar said...

Daaye Robs....yenna blow hot - blow coldaaa ! Blog world-la nee oru 'subbu swamy' polairukku !!

Arvind said...

comsicblob,

I like your learning abilities. You have quickly learnt the game.

First, You have multiple posted and promptly removed ;)

Second, you've made reference to the comments on your site and commented on my site - so both our site-traffic will increase ;)

Third, you have chosen an arbitrary, Rule #53, which promptly 'Robbie the rAngi' will contest and increase the comments :-)

Arvind said...

Robbie,

MPD'aa ? - why only two Ps - third personality - oru ROMO illaia ?

But, you have to still pickup your skills - you can't bash me to drive the comments up - you have to bash some celebrity who has a huge fan following - you know who am talking about :P

Eshwar,
Nice one da - good keep the conversation going with others in this site :-)

Arvind said...

Eswar,

And yeah - thanks for double posting :-)

cosmicblob said...

Arvind -
Are you sitting on your comments nest like a mommy-hen and watching your eggs err..comments! ... how did u spot that Easwar and I deleted a comment! :-)

Hmm..now that u mention it - does look like i have learnt the tricks of the trade.

By the way - there is a non-photograph on my blog that you may like..it's a sketch of a great personality ;-D

p.s. Rule # 87 sucks!

p.s p.s. Didn't understand what "'Robbie the rAngi' " meant!

Arvind said...

cosmicblob,

am sitting on it like a hen, as much as you are watching the replies to the comments - LOL :)

re: deletes...elementary my dear watson, i had four comments in my mailbox, and while i visited the site, found only two and two ease up things, blog shows the 'deleted' message :-))

will check out the non-foto blog :-)

if you dont like #87, why dont you try, #78 ?

re: 'Robbie the rAngi' - do you know madras bashai ?

cosmicblob said...

Arvind - Doh! didnt know the elementary stuff coz i dont subscribe for notifications.

Hmm..#78 is ok..but still dont like it coz itz the reverse of 87.

Madras Bashai ? :-( Nope. except..probably - "epdi ikieerey!"

Arvind said...

ok, do you understand tamizh ? :-)

cosmicblob said...

grrrr...yes - if it is not specialized dialect!

Arvind said...

'rAngi' - pronounced raaangi (with 'a' as in aloof) - is a word in madras bashai which means a person who is a trouble-maker :P

just so that you get a rhyme 'effect' robbie & rAngi got cobbled together :)

cosmicblob said...

Hey Arvind..before you could respond, I got the interpretation from another source that it means "thimuru" or high headedness. Hmm...now dunno which source to trust...

By the way - tip #102 - Create interest through some intriguing statement..such as..well check my most recent post for a sample !! ;-)) Alright Arvind - Think I have learnt too many tricks from you...enuf to keep me going for a while!

Anyways - Good post - I really enjoyed this one!! :D

Arvind said...

well, :-), i will leave the interprtation to you

anytime, welcome'o :-)

Anand Ramamoorthy said...

ellaame philiosophythaan
ungalukku therinjadudaane

ROBBIE said...

Arvind:
Seems like my name will attract more and more comments to this section, keep using the raangi tag dude, kinda suits me. I loved the discussion on madras baashai. Were you Arvind the "vetti" before you decided to label me Robbie the Raangi? I have decided to publicise this myself, sounds sophisticated.

Arvind said...

Anand,

therinjadhu yedhu theriyadhadhu edhu ? ;)

Robbie,

per our agreement, i will send out the chek for your wonderful execution of the controversial comments ;)

cosmicblob said...

Arvind - pssst - is my check on its way?

Arvind said...

CB,

am overwhelmed by how many of you are willing to bear my check at the local upscale restaurant.

thanks :P

as a kind gesture, you will get to split it with robbie ;)

cosmicblob said...

Ohm namo Blog101MahaPrabuArvindSwamiji namaha....

Ohm namo Blog101MahaPrabuArvindSwamiji namaha....

Ohm namo Blog101MahaPrabuArvindSwamiji namaha....

Ohm namo Blog101MahaPrabuArvindSwamiji namaha....

Ohm namo....

Arvind said...

cb,

silly you - you should do ONLY one 'om' per comment ;) and then do 108 oms...

che idhu ellam kooda solli tharanuma ? :P

'ohm' - you high time into physics ? LOL

cosmicblob said...

Bhakth ko maaf keejiye guruji. Hamse eisi galthi ab kabhi nahi hogi. Bhakth ka ek prashna ka jawab deejike guruji - ab 108 times post karna hai ki 101 times ? Aap BLOG101Swamiji hain nah..isliye.

OHM NAMO BLOG101MAHAPRABUARVINDSWAMIJI NAMAHA!

Arvind said...

cb,

mujhe hindi nai mAloom - kinda figured out what you are saying...

101 times is fine with me ;)

prashna = doubt ?

cosmicblob said...

prashna/sawal = question

Sandeh - Doubt

Arvind said...

danx - now you are my guru ;)

Zeppelin said...

indha saapde ! innoru comment... i will write a code which will put some junk characters in your blog every time i log in... that way u will become commentAdhipadhi... hehe

cheers!

Arvind said...

Arun,
Thanks man !

theonlyap said...

arv,
dei nenu oga comment'sum cheppa ledhe.. y naaku thanks chepthavu ??
or is there any other arun !!

bye
ap

theonlyap said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
theonlyap said...

dei.. ur site has just been published in cisco india internal masala alias ... !! there are few like me .. who are trying hard to get some traffic to our blogs.. ur tips certainly enlightened few !!

Others can visit me @ http://theonlyap.blogspot.com

bye
ap

theonlyap said...

dai.. manchi post chesaavu !! :-) .. but oru periya insult ..
according to u .. madras-bashai is non-indian !!.. bada bejaaru pannitiye pa..

U wrote:

The more non-indian the title is the more catchy it is. (Tip: Try Greek, Latin, Spanish or even Madras Bashai)

Arvind said...

AP,
First thanks for 4 comments :-D

Second, yes there is another Arun (Zeppelin/MusicPaithiyam) you are AP ;)

Telegu la pesittu, madras bashai pathi ennada kavalai ;) - but madras bashai - is 'international' is all it meant :-D

am happy to see my blog listend in 'cisco masala' :-) thanks man !

cosmicblob said...

Guruji,
Pranaam.

With your permission [implicitly assumed] I have decided to shorten your name as follows:

B101MPASS which stands for Blog 101 Maha Prabu Arvind Srinivasan Swamiji

disclaimer : I am not responsible for other interpretations or perceptions such as Blogger's 1 & 0nly 1 Major Pain in the...!!

Ohm namo B101MPASS namaha.

Arvind said...

cb,

You are like the villain's side-kick/comedian, who keeps making fun of the villain ;)

kaleidoscope said...

Read UR post and been following the comments, cont resist commenting. Very funny LOL. Like the name CB has given U including the alternate version ;)
Thanks for adding photoblog, now I know whom/what to blame when my pix come bad.

Arvind said...

Kals,

Thanks for stopping by - good to know you enjoyed it :-)

cosmicblob said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
cosmicblob said...

Tip #103: Keep spamming someone's blog until they blogroll you ;-)

[ack: inspired by B101MPASS ]

Arvind said...

cb,

that was a nice trick there - typo'oda comment pannitu - delete it and add a new comment :-)

kaleidoscope said...

LOL both of U are cracking me up.
And Arvind ty for BR.

cosmicblob said...

Guruji Guruji - watch out .. if Kalos cracks up - all the colorful pieces will spill out - and then we won't have the beautiful pics that she posts...

-Apka bhakth shishya (your devoted disciple) - CosmicBlob.

Arvind said...

shishya,

watch out - dont let kalos crack up ;) but at the same time, keep the comments growing :P

cosmicblob said...

woh kaise ho saktha hai Maha Prabu ASS?

Arvind said...

Dear 'ASS' shishya,

You have put in enough work to be recognised as the biggest 'ASS FAN' ever to have existed on the face of the earth.

Congratulations on this achievement. You have also been now promoted to independent villain - not a side-kick, so you will have heroes like Robbie chasing after you :P

cosmicblob said...

Guruji,
As long as you acknowledge that you are an "ASS" - this humble Bhakth doesn't mind being a disciple :D

Guruji - my humble request - let this bhakth remain a shishya...I have no aspirations to become an independent ASS like you!

Arvind said...

cb,

acknowledgement ? you have MPD too ?

you took the predictable escape route - i'd expected more :-))

cosmicblob said...

Ohm Namo B101MPASS Namaha.

ioiio said...

U have a nice blog out here..

Chk out mine :D

Arvind said...

ioiio,
i did - did'nt i ?

Ram.C said...

arvind

what is this? you are doing the same role as Satyaraj did in 'mahanadigan'? poondhu nakkal adichirukkeenga....

Trying to reach 101 comments by naming the post as 'blogging 101'.

vazhga valamudan.

Arvind said...

Ram,

Comparsion with Satyaraj is highly unfair.

Avar alavukku lollu ellam namma kitta kidayathu
Andha madhiri solla dhil'um namm
kitta kidayathu

;)

Comments ellam reader's a paarthu ezhudhardhu, thanks for your contribution ;)

theonlyap said...

Cb

u have aptly called Arv as Guruji... he is also known as "Guru" for other reasons in our college circle !! :-)

-AP

cosmicblob said...

AP - wow !... Thanx for giving me some insider info..if you have more about our esteemed guruji, psst...you can stop by at www.cosmicblob.blogspot.com :D

[ack:His holiness B101MPASS guruji]

cosmicblob said...

Guruji,
Pranam. Have a great day!
apka shishya
CosmicBlob :D

Balaji said...

hilarious post. though nadula enakkum oru kuttu vizhundha madhiri irundhudhu :-)
(no, u don't have to leave a comment on mine :-)

Arvind said...

cb,
you too have a good day dude - ensoy

Balaji,
thanks :-) i do not have any individual in mind that i intended to make fun of. Just random potshots at everyone, including self ;)

And i already comment on yours :P

Shiva said...

if this blog makes to the Guiness, I dont wanna be left out.. so my comment is registered ;)

Arvind said...

Siva,

Thanks dude - better late than never ;) :P

cosmicblob said...

CLICK here !

BLOGDOCTOR said...

Did you know that blogging can be a disease if taken in excess? Addicted to blogging? Need help?
Never fear - the BLOGDOCTOR is here. The first step is to admit your addition.
Visit BLOGOHOLICS ANONYMOUS and take the quiz.

orangepixel said...

Tip#1 & tip#5 were wonderful! ;-)

Arvind said...

cb,
blahb :-) nice !

blogdoctor,
as ml pointed out,you need to check yourselves out ;)

op,
danx :-)

cosmicblob said...

Guruji,

Pranaam. Apke ashirwaad keliye dhanyavaadh! Shubh ravivaar!!

bhakth shishya,
CosmicBlob

Arvind said...

cb,
you too :-)

interestingly enough, each of the words in your comment sounded like a name

Guruji,Pranaam,Apke, ashirwaad, keliye, dhanyavaadh, Shubh, ravivaar, !!, bhakth, shishya,

cosmicblob said...

would certainly like to meet someone named "!!" :-)

Guruji - 8 more to go...you are on your way to the guinness alright!

Arvind said...

cb,

was hoping you'd catch it ;)

but if jikku-ammani comes to know of it, she will definitely create a QT abt such a person ;)

ioiio said...

6 to win..
7 to gift :))

Arvind said...

ioiio,
you lost me there :-( - thanks for posting such cryptic posts so that i can seek clarificaiton :-))

kaleidoscope said...

I was thinking it would have reached 101 by now :D

Arvind said...

kals,

i was hoping too :-) but every comment helps...

any other thoughts ;) ?

kaleidoscope said...

'any thoughts' mmmmm oru idea vara matengudhe hehehehe

cosmicblob said...

Guruji, As 101 approaches I am really nervous!! LOL...it's nerve racking...like the grand finale... hope u r all set for the confetti shower :D

Arvind said...

yay...100th comment ;) :-D

101 is up for grabs - any takers ?

kaleidoscope said...

Yahooooooo!!

Arvind said...

well done kali ma...

next time - you can may be use gooooooooogle, poor fellas, after all, they put up with us, dont they ? ;)

cosmicblob said...

DUM DUM DUM DUM......

GURUJI BLOG 101 MP ASS KI JAI!!

GURUJI BLOG 101 MP ASS KI JAI!!

GURUJI BLOG 101 MP ASS KI JAI!!

GURUJI BLOG 101 MP ASS KI JAI!!

(confetti pouring from the sky)

(all bakths gathered for darshan)

(festivity in the air)

DUM DUM DUM DUM.....

kaleidoscope said...

MP ASS.
ROTFL. CB atleast 2day u should not call him like that, hehehe.

Arvind said...

kals,

ASS FANs are bound to go gaga over it - nothing surprising...

cb,

did you not realize that you are breaking the pact ? is it cryptic enough ?